Once tormented memories
Subconsciously blocked from my past
Are back again and again, with their chance
To consume me in their haunted contents
To horrify my mind, body and soul yet again
Acting like a loving friend
-"Sure, you can stay with me, with your sons and daughters."
But that is when all good came to an end...
Just waiting for me to pick up the keys and go
He would have his fun with any girl as soon as I closed the door
He didn't care about how much he hurt me or what he would make me do
He didn't care as long as he got his share when he was through
Those nights when he would pull me out of my bed
His hand tightly over my mouth, so no word from me could be said
-"If you love me, you will come and play with me." he would say
Cold tears running down my face, it's not like I had a choice, he would take me anyway
And on the days when we were alone,
When I would baby sit him when my days were off work
Into a locked bedroom or bathroom he would make me go
Him and me alone, my shame continued to grow
He would drag me with my hair in his fist
His pants down and me pushed to the cold hard floor
All I would do was focus on the door, bleeding, my shout choked
"Please stop! Please leave me alone!"
But my struggling only made him angry
-"You’re not being good little girl anymore, now you get twice as much as before!"
Trying to scream, he just gagged me, and punished me more
-"Tell anyone one word of this and I'll make you wish that you were never born!"
He destroyed a good two years of my life
He stole EVERYTHING…my innocence, my pureness as a child
My chances, dreams, wishes, ambitions, opportunities, my faith in others….
Gave me a terrorized adolescence
It’s because of him that I had become suicidal
And now because of the molesting prick
Even today, almost a decade later,
I can't stand to be touched or kissed…
So let this be a word of advice to you all
To never TRUST anybody
And never let down your SENTINEL,
Be it acquaintances or close known ones…
His pants down and me pushed to the cold hard floor
All I would do was focus on the door, bleeding, my shout choked
"Please stop! Please leave me alone!"
But my struggling only made him angry
-"You’re not being good little girl anymore, now you get twice as much as before!"
Trying to scream, he just gagged me, and punished me more
-"Tell anyone one word of this and I'll make you wish that you were never born!"
He destroyed a good two years of my life
He stole EVERYTHING…my innocence, my pureness as a child
My chances, dreams, wishes, ambitions, opportunities, my faith in others….
Gave me a terrorized adolescence
It’s because of him that I had become suicidal
And now because of the molesting prick
Even today, almost a decade later,
I can't stand to be touched or kissed…
So let this be a word of advice to you all
To never TRUST anybody
And never let down your SENTINEL,
Be it acquaintances or close known ones…
Every time I look into the mirror
I see the reminiscences I tried so hard to keep locked up inside
Memories I want to put away, to undo,
Every time I am alone…all by myself
They tend to come back more and more
Each and every day I suffer
I left my heart unguarded and open
Which left me shattered and broken…
The simple things I now do
Affect me in many ways
I don't know who to be
For I am scared to be
With me…without me
All because of these memories
That have scarred me and turned me cold
I wish there was some way to turn the time back
But it's time I let go
So I plead everyone to turn away
So I can be at peace from these miseries...
No comments:
Post a Comment