Alchemy: ~~ A Bad Day ~~

Friday, July 8, 2011

A Bad Day

Today is a bad day…
Actually the day itself is beautiful
The sun is shining and the spring green of the grass is almost painful to behold
Purple, pink redbuds are fading away and the white popcorn dogwoods are taking their place
It is a beautiful day

But today is a bad day…
I can’t feel the joy of the color or the melodies of the songbirds
I am wrapped in a gray cloud that muffles my senses and separates me from the joy
With fat sausage fingers in my ears and a musty stained pillow over my eyes
I cannot receive the message of spring
Green, yellow, and purple notes sing, “New life, new life!”
But I am stuck with the past…
Old failures, old mistakes, just plain getting old and graying and wrinkling away

I hear my deep, unfathomable sighs and laugh at my self-pity
The ridiculousness of my condition
Everyone knows….
I am surrounded by blessings
By family, by friends, by beauty, by love
But is that really the truth…?
And I stay wrapped in the smelly gray blanket of despair

My choice, my fault, my sin—it must be so

Oh, I pray, unwrap me as you would a gift
Tear from me the layers that cover the truth of who you made me to be
Like Eve in the garden, stand me bare before you and show me that I, too, have goodness
Even I….like others
And then clothe me in your love
So that it is no more a bad day….

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Here I am

I am not a tear, a suspended raindrop on a window, a lost and lonely wolf.
Nor a fragile belief, easily shattered and delicate
Nor a balloon filled with hot air, ready to burst.
I am an intelligent thought, observing, listening, and watching the world go by.

I am not always an abstract painting of confusion and chaos
Nor a bright and cheery spring day
Nor a smile or note of laughter that rings through a school hallway.
I am a puzzle that eventually fits together perfectly

I wish I could always be a smileand a reason for others to smile.
So... I have to be me.

DANCE IN THE RAIN

I will dance in the rain,
Clouds hiding the moon;
While the song of the ocean,
Sings me a tune.

I will sway in the raindrops,
Barefoot in the sand;
Let my heart make sweet music,
As I dance, soul in hand.

I will whisper soft words,
As I gently sway;
That catch on the wind,
As it sweeps them away.

As if I were lover,
In the quietness of night;
Forgetting the world,
Till dawn brings it's light.

I will sway in the raindrops,
In a gentle embrace;
While all time stands still,
In some distant place.

I will cherish the moment,
And the ocean's refrain;
In myself's arms,
I will dance in the rain.

THE BLOODY GREAT WORK

I broke my soul the other day.
I hate it when that happens.
My karmas bent,
my chakras cracked,
and my Kundalini flattened.

I stuck my fingers in the fire
and scorched them to the joint.
I rote my rite
and rung my bell,
but forgot one tiny point.
I've been calcinating since ever
Just can't dissolve, separate, or ferment!

If a force that's raised is out of phase
with the resident elemental,
the resulting blow
to the raiser's mind
can be seriously detrimental.

So the scales of balance tipped once more,
and reality went berserk.
But the journey's end
made me surer than before
that it really is a bloody Great Work.

Innocence

Innocence

“Know you what it is to be a child.....an epitom of innocence? It is to be something very different from the man of to-day. It is to have a spirit yet streaming from the waters of baptism; it is to believe in love, to believe in loveliness, to believe in belief; it is to be so little that the elves can reach to whisper in your ear; it is to turn pumpkins into coaches, and mice into horses, lowness into loftiness, and nothing into everything, for each child has its fairy godmother in its own soul.”

PASSION AND DESIRE

If passion were a flame of fire,
That burned into my soul;
I'd be consumed by this inferno,
By you who makes me whole.
Just like the moth who can't resist,
Who's drawn into the fire;
I dance around the flickering light,
Of passion and desire.

I look so deeply in your eyes,
At the hair I long to touch;
I hear my name come whispering,
'Cross lips I need so much.
My heart is filled with longing,
I stand too near the fire.
Again I'm drawn by the music,
Of passion and desire.

My hands reach out to touch you,
I live for one look from your eyes;
I whisper your name in the quiet times,
My love too strong to deny.
I dance to the tune of your music,
I sway in the glow of your fire.
Ever drawn into this inferno,
Of passion and desire.

TO MY ANGEL

I thought I saw an angel,
I didn't mean to stare;
I had them pictured differently,
Till I saw you standing there.

You may not have a halo,
But you have that certain grace;
I can tell that you're an angel,
From that look there on your face.

For only angels shine that way,
You have this heart convinced;
You may not have a set of wings
But I know you're Heaven sent.

For only God would send a gift,
So good and sweet and kind;
Don't try to tell me otherwise,
I'll never change my mind.

You may think that I am seeing things,
But I see through eyes of love;
My heart is convinced, I've been given a gift,
You're my angel from above.