~~~ Mishap ~~~

Dad,
I sit awake at night
Crying... Waiting.
I don't want to get that call.
I know that I'm selfish,
But God only knows how much I still need you here!
I'm not ready to let go.
I'm so sad, yet so angry at you!
Why weren't you there?
Why didn't you make more of an effort?
How could you let so much time go by?

I sit here now,
Lamenting.
Thinking of you.
You were supposed to watch me grow older...
You were supposed to walk me down the aisle!
What am I supposed to do?
I'm so alone.
I know that I have made a lot of mistakes,
And that I too let so much time go.

I'm Sorry.
I'm sorry that I wasn't there.
I'm sorry that it took me this long to see.
I'm sorry that I can't get over the past.
I'm sorry that I took so long to realize how much you really mean to me.

I love you, Dad.
I just want a second chance.
And I want to say that everything is going to be okay,
That everything is going to be fine...
You will come home and wrap me in your arms,
And we will go riding again, or order a pizza and watch a movie together!

But I know that it's not okay.
I know that what I want isn't going to happen.
I just wish I could reverse the time.
I wish I could go back and be there.
And now I have to live with nightmares,
Of the catastrophe that struck me.
I just want you to know before,
That I always loved you, and will continue to...
No matter the outcome,
I want you to know that I'm out here,
In cold,
Seeking your forgiveness…
I pray, please don't forget about me…