Bachelor Pad

A piece of paper fell off the desk
And landed under the chair,
That was two weeks ago and
I don't know why it is still there.
The television needs to be switched off
And I forgot to do it last night,
I woke up to the morning news
And realized it is sunshine alright.

No matter how hard I try
I always manage to spill the coffee,
And then wonder maybe it will help
If instead I start drinking some tea!
I have forgotten how to use the doorbell
Since there is no use for it here,
So when someone uses it so seldom
I say to my self, "That's the phone, dear."

I watch the sunshine and darkness at night
Change shades of the pizza box that sits,
Maybe I need to throw it out someday
So I can replace it with cheese sticks.
I spend time to make sure I always buy
Weekly items that will help me exist,
But the first few things I choose instead
Are somehow never on my shopping list.

Writing down notes at the back of
Some old American Express envelope,
And then I sit in front of my laptop
"I can find those notes now, I hope!"
Getting home at three in the morning
On early Saturdays is a routine now,
I just have to be a little careful since
Once I left the door unlocked somehow.

Oh! What paradise this is, my little den
Of happiness and grief that come and go,
As I write this poem to express myself
"I left the rice cooking too long! Oh no!"

With no offence to anyone, I like this living so.
Not all men are fools. Some are bachelors, you know.

Note: I dedicate this to my brother, my brother's friends, all my male friends and aquaintances.

Hope Never Dies

An old lady is sitting on the road alone
Watching people go by
They carry with them bags of memories
Of pain n laughter and a time, that will never die.

Strangers carrying hopes and dreams
Some long forgotten, some still lingering within
Some looking forward to a bright future
And for some even today is grim.

There comes a little boy
His toy is broken, his eyes have tears
His childhood was locked in a dark room
Where there seemed no one to calm his fears.

A young girl comes insight
Not as beautiful as the ones, she follows
Though her beauty is innocent
Seems like the society sent her soul to the gallows.

Frustration is what the man is carrying
Of a broken home, neglected kids
And a mind that has strayed
The ground he dug to built his house
Has now become a cemetery for his grave.

A woman walks behind him
She's draped in loneliness, sorrows n regrets
Her life has been a nightmare
And the memory multiplies, the harder she tries to forget.

A walking stick as the only support
Is an old man, walking step by step
His children have disowned him now
After 60 years in his home, with unconditional love them he kept.

They all walk upto the old woman
N ask what she does waiting on the road
Is she waiting for someone who never came?
And listen to the words she repeatedly told.

Questions for all of you
Is what my little old heart has
Answer them to yourselves
And realize how light your mind will feel, after I've asked.

Don’t you have love in your life?
Or what you have is not enough?
Haven't there been smoother times?
Has the journey been always rough?

Have you not dreams to live for?
Has the past killed the future for you?
Don’t you have smiles to remember?
Or friendships that were rare and true?

Haven't you made someone's day?
Or with a touch, lessened another's grief?
Hasn’t your presence made a difference?
Or your silence comforted, when no one wanted to speak?

Have never you been out of your way?
For that little something, that meant a lot?
Didn’t you ever cry in somebody else's pain?
Or eased a mind, which like yours had clot?

If YES is your answer
To any of the questions above
It is for me to know and for you to realize
Apart from the worldly, you're blessed with God's love.

Remember, God never bestows upon us
Problems which we wouldn’t be able to solve
God trips us on the way up
So we learn to stand, after we fall.

Let hope, prayers and faith
Be in your life the guiding light
Be grateful for what you have
And not regret n long for, something which isn't insight

Be guided with your heart
Be earnest when you pray and look upon the skies
Circumstances may make you weak
But strength is in believing,

Coz, hope never dies...

To A STRANGER

Passing stranger!
Don’t you know how longingly I look upon you?
You must be he I was seeking,
(It comes to me as of a dream,)
I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you,
All is recalled as we flit by each other
Affectionate, chaste, matured,
You grew up with me,
You were an adorable boy playful with me,
I ate with you and slept with you,
And giggled over silly sweet nothings.
Your body has become not yours only
Nor left my body mine only,
You give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh, as we pass,
You take of my bosom, hands, in return,
I will not walk up to you and speak,
I will not take your share of pleasure
I will let you do that, while I enchant you.
I think of you when I sit alone for hours together
Or wake up in the middle of the lonely night,
Longing for you.
I will wait;

I do not doubt I will meet you again,
I will just see to it that I do not lose you.
If not now……perhaps in the next birth….

Piece by Piece...

Tears fall fast

Behind my smile.

Inside I'm dying,

But no-one sees.

This happy face

Is my shield.

This cheerful smile,

An elaborate mask.

Nobody knows

Who I really am,

No one but me

Sees all my fears.

Glimpses are shown

To a chosen few,

But the full extent

Is behind closed doors.

The pain is pushed down,

The tears wiped away,

Fears locked away,

From prying eyes.

A smile carefully applied,

To be shown to the world.

I try to be brave,

To hide this hurt,

But once in a while,

The smile cracks,

The mask slips,

And I shine through.

But still they are blind

To what I feel,

Too involved in

Their own silly games.

I'm not being moody!

I'm not being unfair!

My anger is just

Part of this pain,

The sarcasm a disguise

For a cry for help.

The tears still fall

Behind my smile.

Inside I die,

Piece by piece.

Painted smile

I hide behind my painted smile

And I watch as all of you adore me

Being stared at and loved

I am all that you want to be.

I smirk and laugh at you all

Because you will never be as good enough

You will try all your life

But the competition is tough.

On the outside I may seem perfect

On the inside I am no better than you

But I hide behind my painted smile

So you will never know what is true.

My tears roll down from my cheek

And onto my dress

You never would have thought

I’d be such a mess.

I am no different than you

We are all the same

But while I put on my painted smile

You'll always think I am at blame.

I am the fault of your low self esteem

Always telling you what your faults are

When really I am drowning myself in lies

Smothering me like tar.

When I hide behind my painted smile

I am okay, or so I pretend

You would have never believed

This would be how it'd end.

My Imperfection is shown

My painted smile has left

And my lies are still impending

Even on my death.

Sitting here nearly lifeless

All I can do is cry and scream

As my veins are cut open

Having nightmares that was once a dream.

Flowing from my hands

The blood of crimson red

My painted smile has left me

Lying lifeless cold and dead...

Into the Wild

I had been tremendously influenced by the movie ‘’Into The Wild’’ recommended by one of my friends.
Thanks to him that I stumbled upon such primary and wild thoughts that sounded so innate to me.

"There is pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society where none intrudes,
By the deep sea and the music in its roar;
I love not man the less, but Nature more."

Alexander Supertramp
‘’Two years he walks the earth.
No phone, no pool, no pets, no cigarettes. Ultimate freedom. An extremist. An aesthetic voyager whose home is the road. Escaped from Atlanta. Thou shalt not return, 'cause "the West is the best." And now after two rambling years comes the final and greatest adventure. The climactic battle to kill the false being within and victoriously conclude the spiritual pilgrimage. Ten days and nights of freight trains and hitchhiking bring him to the Great White North. No longer to be poisoned by civilization he flees, and walks alone upon the land to become lost in the wild.’’


Chris McCandless
"I read somewhere... how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong... but to feel strong."

"I have lived through much and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. A quiet, secluded life in the country with the possibility of being useful to people..."

"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun."

"...the sea's only gifts are harsh blows and, occasionally, the chance to feel strong. Now, I don't know much about the sea, but I do know that that's the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong, to measure yourself at least once, to find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions, facing blind, deaf stone alone, with nothing to help you but your own hands and your own head..."

"Surely all Americans have the right to give their money only to those causes which they support. But what kind of society has this created? A society where the ignorant reign. A society where enlightened must hold their tongues. A nation whose politicians must profess half-hearted devotion to an ancient fable or face the disastrous consequences of speaking their true mind."

"Some people feel like they don't deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past."

"The core of mans' spirit comes from new experiences."

‘’I will miss you too, but you are wrong if you think that the joy of life comes principally from the joy of human relationships. God's place is all around us, it is in everything and in anything we can experience. People just need to change the way they look at things.’’

"If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed."

"Rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth."

"Mr. Franz I think careers are a 20th century invention and I don't want one."

‘’The freedom and simple beauty is too good to pass up...’’

Just a Human

I am human
Just a human
Shrouded in a million follies
And a million qualities
I am the best and the worst
Of God's creation
All in one...

I am a saint and a sinner
I am the root of love and hate
The embodiment
Of light and darkness
Of reverence and shame
I am everything you see
Never what you imagine.

I am the spring of opposites
A marvel to the wise and foolish alike
I am the paradox
You should never try to understand
A jumble, a puzzle

I am human
Just a human.

Battle of Emotions

Bunches of emotions

Thundering in the heart

Fresh memories become dejavu

Some unspoken words

To be felt-unfelt.

Still in his arms

Sentiments flown apart

Caught in a tornado

Subtle yet strong

Holding on to love

Still the eternal truth.

Ocean of expectation

Buried deep within

Locked with the secrets

Feign happiness seen

Buried deep within.

Expression........

Thoughts.......

Feelings....

Unsaid, unrevealed….

Forever and for always.

If You Can't

If you can’t

Hold me

Till eternity,

You can at least

Touch me

For a fleeting moment...

If you can’t

Give me

The sunshine

Of happiness,

You can at least

Bequeath me

A ray of joy...

If you can’t

Heal

My burning wounds,

You can at least

Caress

My tired scars...

If you can’t

Give me

A spring of commitment,

You can at least

Give me

An autumn

Of hope...

If you can’t

Stem the cascade

Of unshed tears,

You can at least

Dry

My moist eyes...

If you can’t

Sing

A lyric of love,

You can at least

Express

A comma of concern...

If you can’t

Join the neon lights

Of the procession

To my pyre,

You can at least

Light a solitary lamp

At my grave...

Sweetheart...

All I want

Is a little space

In a tiny corner

Of your heart,

Like

A footnote

In my autobiography...

A Spell

The rhythm of the wind
The clap of the rain,
The whistle of the breeze and
The dance of the leaves...

The sway of the clouds
The shy of the moon,
The shock of the stars and
The songs of the night...

The touch of your finger
The turn of your brows,
The curve of your lips and
The light in your eyes...

The scent of your soul
The sweet pinch of your thoughts,
The warmth of your breath and
The pearls in your smile...

Cast a spell upon me,
Take me to a different world
Where there are no words...

November Rain

The rhapsody of the pour

all night long reminds of an

unknown folk tune

and the hissing of the wind,

the swaying of the trees coloured the commotion.

The moon, who was smiling at the

stars , went away, with his

Friends and the sky

became a black

Blanket over the earth like a carpet

Of gloom and woes...

The rain roared like a monster

And the trees trembled and

The bushes shivered.

The bird without a name,

Who was humming an old tune

for the moon, before the rain

Flew away leaving her

nest in the branch alone to

Grieve the departure of her friend...

The mild breeze, who was roaming around

And caressing the branches just

vanished Into the stillness of night

A lonely tree stood in the dark

Alone, meditating in silence

Waiting for the cacophony to end

Looking into the sky …water dripping

Over it like uncontrolled tears...

November rain, came without any

Caution like a predator jumping

on its prey,

Like fate upon a man…..

Macbeth of recent times...

Judge others by your common code

And measure them by your tailoring tape

Those puny beings in their petty pace

Doing their dull rounds within their allotted spheres

Their small breasts heaving in small hopes

All their tomorrows bringing them disappointments new

The flickering flames of their brief candles

Are then in darkness suddenly lost.

Witches whisper in every ear

But their timid hearts neither harken nor stir

By anything ambitious and vast.

Flightless from fright they explore no dizzy heights

Small fries they swim along the shallow coasts

Never venturing out into the open seas.

Their hearts sink even from a thought

Of leaping over a low stile.

Crawling creatures they pick up only crumbs

Worming their way to a dusty death.

Fortune’s beggars they never know

She is a hero’s whore.

Never a faceless follower

Nor a nameless nobody

Seeking safety in a crowd

Head and shoulder above the rabble

I march at the head of the host

Till I win that which someone else has lost.

Be he my boss or friend who blocks my goal

I shall baulk at nothing.

But look at my man and his likes

All those feeble hearts,

Swept off their feet by a few drops of blood

Unable to outgrow a foolish philosophy

Or kill a conscience full of milk

Meant for the feeble, fail

On the threshold of that shadowy world

Where a different scale is used

To weigh what is good what is bad.

Only one death each of us owe to God

Which you pay every minute

But I pay once...

All in your hands

And when you ponder

'where’s love gone?'

look at your hands

you’ll find it there.

Where it has always been

and will be...

And when you open

to see that love

is there within you

you’ll find it everywhere.

Where it has always been

and will be....

A Marvel.....

"Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again. And what do we teach our children?
We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are?
We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel. And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel? You must work, we must all work, to make the world worthy of its children."

Riding a Rainbow

Red sunrise
Climbing up the darkness,
Kissing the stars.

Orange lilies
Swaying on the stalk,
Playing with the wind.

Yellow butterfly
Standing on a petal,
Sipping daisy nectar.

Green ivy
Creeping up the brick wall,
Looking for adventure.

Blue waves
Rolling toward the beach,
Bringing a mermaid.

Indigo parrot
Perching on a leafy branch,
Scolding everyone who passes.

Violet petunias
Blooming in a window box,
Perfuming the siesta hour.

Somewhere, Somehow.........

I watched a tear in your eyes,

I felt two roll down my cheek

To remind me of how it hurts,

when I hurt the ones I love

For the world seems a solemn place,

with out the ones I love

Dry, arid and deceitfully cold of hellfire.

I watched him walk away;

Felt my soul leave my body behind

For the one I love, those eyes,

I failed to stop a tear in them

Us and them they may say,

I’ll say you before me, omnipresent you always

For you hold me back in sanity,

In this abundance of life’s insanity.

Of all that life has had to show,

It showed me a vision so sweet and serene,

To raise a storm of encumbered proportions,

Of my love towards all that you do to me,

I’ve been hurt and I’ve been lost

But not quite as I am in thoughts of you

So I await my hand outstretched,

Make my life complete and strong.

I have been silly to not comprehend,

How much I can love, love you my dear

Some things that life brought in with a storm

Sadness took away in a flash of lightening

I was blinded by that thunderbolt,

For you struck me where it hurts the most

Deep within my heart and soul

I long to hear your voice again.

I could run away from myself once,

Fight my feelings that I have for you

I know I’ll lose and give into them for I love,

All that you do to hurt me to forget you,

I trust my soul in its rendition, the truth of what I feel

The truth of how I love you, and how much

For tomorrow you shall take on a new day,

Ignore all you feel I know you do for you are stronger.

I know though one thing for sure, that I will

For I know I cannot forget that I do,

I can never contemplate how much I feel

This love that that grows with each knife that you drive

Through this already knife riddled heart of mine

You are in every breath, every touch, every voice, every vision,

For you are all I think of...

Perhaps, I Know.

Why sometimes all of us

are such exponents of deceit.

Such born killers.

While I tore a young flower

petal by petal,

And laid a hot coffee cup

on a crawling ant.

I knew I was scared of death,

my death.

Perhaps, I Know.

Why sometimes all of us

are such pools of pity.

Such life-givers.

While I nursed a dying bird.

And smoothed the hair of an orphan-child.

I knew I was happy of life,

my life...

Realization

I left my soul somewhere in the crowded street
In the race of life I forgot my Being
Lonely as ever
Carrying the burden of solitude
Looking for an open door
That can let me in

Remembering the times when the sky could be seen
I stare at the painted walls
Stand withered by life’s atrocities
Hiding behind are the charred faces of the human souls

Wondered standing there
Is this the life I always dreamed of
Shedding a tear or two, gathered my self
Started walking towards the office door.

I could see smiling faces, exchanging morning greetings,
Assured myself I am not the only one
It’s just a matter of realization
Either you let it loose, or you carry on!

THE HOURGLASS

Watching the sand in the hourglass,

As it silently trickles away;

Seeing time slip though my fingers,

As quickly go the days.

Looking at each grain of sand,

As a tiny piece of time.

Too small to be measured,

Except by this heart of mine.

For every grain has a meaning,

Of time so fleeting and fast;

Each time that I see you,

More precious than the last.

Although those times are far between,

And for me all too few;

I treasure each tiny grain of sand,

As a moment spent with you.

For each moment brings me pleasure,

Savoring each morsel of time;

I drink from a cup of happiness,

As if tasting of sweet wine.

I draw from a well of contentment,

As long as I know you are near;

For one day I will look up,

And you will be standing here.

Bringing the joy you always bring,

Spilling sunlight into this place;

Warming my heart with your presence,

And the smile upon your face.

Watching the sand in the hourglass,

Until you are back with me;

As long as the tiny grains trickle down,

I will wait for you patiently.

I'll never be over you

I cry silently
I cry inside of me
I cry hopelessly
Cause I know I'll
never breathe your
love again
I cry
Cause you're not here with me
I cry
Cause I'm lonely as can be
I cry hopelessly
Cause I know I'll
never breathe your
love again

You said goodbye
I fell apart
I fell from all we had
To I never knew
I needed you so bad

You need to let things go
I know, you told me so
I've been through hell
To break the spell

Why did I ever let you slip away
Can't stand another
day without you
Without the feeling
I once knew

If you could see me now
You would know just how
How hard I try
Not to wonder why


If I could have you back tomorrow
If I could lose the
pain and sorrow
I would do just anything
To make you see
You still love me

I wish I could believe
in something new
Oh please somebody
tell me it's not true
I'll never be over you...

As the Candle burns......

Take my hand
and touch me there.
Let me feel,
you’re near somewhere.

Lift my chin
and kiss my lips.
Make me quiver
till my fingertips.

Draw me near
in a warm embrace.
Of drops that fell,
can you dab their trace ?

My hands are trembling,
Will you steady them in yours ?
My soul’s been counting
for her long lost cures.

Read my mind,
race my pulse.
Make me break
down all our walls.

The night ushers, come,
let’s kiss in turns.
Let’s make sweet love,
as the candle burns.

Break Away

Sunshine on my pillow,
Tear stains on my sheet;
Another lonely night,
Another morning to greet.

Get up ... Go to work ...
Fight the bustling thong.
Another day ... Another dollar ...
It's gone on far too long!

Sometimes I think too much, and brood over it.
Sometimes I cry too much, and get sick of it.
Sometimes I walk too much, and get tired about it.

But tonight…is going to be different.

I am going to take another chance.
I am going to make another wish.
I am going to take another risk.

Let there be a candle that dances with the wind.
Let there be a dawn, where the dusks look pretty.
Let there be a tear that drops on an open palm.
Let there be a laugh that filched memoirs induce.

I don’t care if the night is going to be darker than ever, for I have my candle swaying and dancing and telling her, together we are meant to survive.

I don’t care if that palm is mine, for my tears are precious for me, and I shall not let them hit the dust ever, coz is all that matters.

I don’t care if the memoirs are all that are left, to creak my door, every time I open them thinking there wouldn’t be the sound of silence any more, for I was the one who made them.

“I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes
Till I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway…..”

I sang to me tonight. And somehow I feel, Yes, I will.

**Let me be your Hero**

Sometimes the things you cannot change but end up changing you. Initially you don’t even hear it coming, then you watch it happen against the backdrop of your disbelief and sirens. You then cast yourself as a renege, hide in the closet and walk down the path of realisation, holding the fingers of destiny. Hope being your only coast to sigh.

As time dusts way your coloured whims, you see truth and accept it the way it is. You begin taking things for what they are and as they are meant to be. And at that point, when you wonder of your possessions in this bland harrowed world, you begin getting it all. That all you really own to keep, is the air you breathe. For it’s yours to keep it inside. Hidden away from the clutches of ratiocinate.

You ride onto the boat. Do your job. Come back home. Everyday. Coz at the end of the day, what matters is, you did what you could and you know what you've done. "

Some seek solace in God. Think He'll answer their questions. But I say, He was the one who made me almost an atheist. Yeah almost, not quite, for I fear for my kith and kin. Yet I shall never ask Him. Not because I know my answers. But for the fact, that I know not who He is and neither do I care.

You ask me queries, and expect I know it all. Do you understand how it feels, when I don’t have the answers? No, I will never show it to you. Let me be the hero that I am in your eyes. Let me be the filch of our broken songs, songs that I shall whisper into your sleepy ears. Let me be the cures of a long lost dream, that tread our ways only when we are fast asleep.

And let life be meant to be lived, not survived. Coz when your time ends and you look back at your life; I want you to know that you lived it, not survived.

Ten odd Autumns ago....

Would you tell me a fairy-tale?
Of elves and pixies,
and their winged dreamy desires
swathed in lacey indigo blues ?
Of lovers and friends,
And faraway dreams
knitted together with serene sunshine ?
Would you sleep by me,
As I face the starry night
In all her imperial satin splendor ?
Reading by her silver lamp, while they sketch
her thousand metaphors on the October canvas ?
Would you tell me you love me,
And embrace me when I cry
And you know not what to do ?
Yet if I do not stop
elevate my face, and plant a kiss,
where it melts me the most, and you shall see
Stained with salty tears
How they curl up and glow.
Would you walk with me to eternity ?
Let us grow old together and die,
throbbing in the utopia we found as kids
and hold it long after we beget our own.
Petals of destiny unfurled and taken
Cherished and delighted; each day, everyday.
Would you come burn with me ?
Lets burn a little each day,
To keep the flame we ignited
with your soul and mine.
Bathe it with hearts , tears and moments
That took our breath away
Some ten odd autumns ago

Marriage....?? No way...??

Marriage – is a magnanimous happening in everyone’s life. Some want it, some don’t want it, and some just don’t know. And amidst all those, there are some who are fringing' desperate for it. For no apparent reason. Just for the heck of it. Read on, you’ll get the picture.

A friend of mine called up the other day. We were talking after a long time. Off late, her parents have been on the look out for a suitable groom for her. And I have been hearing from her about it since a year now. I aint that dead against the whole concept of arranged marriage, though I’d like to know the guy first; so I ask her about the guys she’s meeting and stuff almost every time we talk. So far she hasn’t met one decent guy, and the ones she’s liked haven’t liked her. Strange irony!

Anyway, don’t get the idea that this is going to be about the concept of arranged marriage, and neither am I going to invite any views or opinions here. This is about something else entirely, which it seems at the moment the whole blogger community is whining at the moment. Almost all are going through heart-breaks, almost all are sick coz they’re lonely, and all, including me, are dazed with the utopia called love – togetherness – companionship – betrothal…just whatever you choose to call it.
So this friend I was telling you about, irritated me no ends today with her ultra-juvenile thinking, at the matured age of 24. Instead of describing the whole conversation let me just put it there, in my typical style.

Angel: So, met any new guy?
Friend: Yeah, met one yesterday afternoon over lunch. It was nice, we kind of gelled. He’s like us only. And he’s only 2 years older to me.
Angel: That’s nice. So whaddya think ?
Friend: I dunno man. I just wanna get married, that’s all.

**Man ! Another despo !**

Angel: But why the hell are you so worried? What are you only 28!
Friend: Girl, 28 is old ok. It’s high time I got married.

**Wtf !! She reminded me of the intense scene in Hitch (Will smith – Eva Mendez) where Hitch’s come to talk to Eva for the last time, at the speed-dating place, and there is this woman who gets very irritated with his intervention at the game, and bursts out aloud: “ Excuse me we are to play the game here and I HAVENT GOTTEN LAID IN A YEAR !!!!” Ha ha ha ha ha ha !!! But then Angel sobers up fast and says,**

Angel: Hello! You make 28 sound like 82. Life’s just begun girl. You would have some reason to be worried if you would have been like 32-34, coz loneliness does get to you.
Friend: No girl, that’s not the thing. A cousin of mine recently got married. She’s 3 months younger to me. And I am the only one left. Also in my work-place I am the only single girl. Two are engaged and the rest are married.

**See, I was right! Man!! Can somebody surprise me any more?**

Angel: OMG!! I can’t believe you of all people are talking in such juvenile way!! What rubbish!! So you mean to say that, since that your cousins are married, all your female colleagues are two-somes, that’s drives you want to get married ?!

**Now, this really pissed her off, but the nail had hit the right spot! And whaddya do when that happens? Yeah, get defensive! And that’s what she did to my devilish amusement. Angel - you evil evil girl !**

Friend: No, I dint mean that. You won’t understand girl. When you're the only one left in the family left to be wed, and you're getting across the right age, people start talking about you, tell your parents about you and stuff. And then your cousins and friends are all having a good time and you are getting old.

**There they go again. I don’t understand, why? Coz I aint single. Bull-crap. Right age?! I thought it was about the right guy/girl. And people?! Who the hell cares about what people say? Its 2008 for Chris sake!**

Angel: Oh please, don’t you-wont-understand-girl me! You’re plain desperate for love, for companionship, so don’t blame it on age coz 28 is nothing, and don’t blame it on the crappy concept of your cousins and colleagues.
** But this fumed her none-the-less. Me and my mouth.**
Friend: I am not desperate girl. Why should I be? I am just tired of seeing guys.
**and rejecting, getting rejected, and not finding a decent one in one friggin’ year. Aaaaaa….somebody get me a male specimen. I wanna get married/kissed/romped… !!!**

Angel: Don’t worry you will get one. Give it sometime. And enjoy your single status girl. For once you give it away; you can never get it back again. I for one, never got to know what being single means, and now there is no way of knowing it.

At this point she decided to change the topic ruefully. But I was already too pissed, and so was she. Thank god, soon after she said, I’ll call you later and hung up. I was like, ~Thank the heavens!

Cross Roads

Many a times we arrive at cross roads. Where we need to cross – over.

Cross over people, cross over memories, cross over pains, cross over the life that was.

They all say, move on, that’s the way of life. Even I have said that, to the ones who came to me in times of pain and loneliness, seeking for words of nurture and care.

‘Move on’ I have told them, ‘life holds so much to see and perceive.’
‘Do not derogate yourself’ were my words, ‘for you know not what you’re worth.’
‘Everyone deserves happiness’, I tried to make them believe, ‘so do you, and so shall you get.’

Ironically, when my time came, neither there was anyone to tell me this, nor could I really make myself actually follow what I used to preach. I laughed at myself, thinking, how wronged they all are, who think I am wise, I am nice. Coz I aint. I am weird. Yeah, really I am.

Time and again, I go back and think over all that I have said, and all that I have done. Only to find, I just don’t fit in. I know not what I’m doing. I know not what my true calling is. I’m still searching for it. I have my fears. I have my short-comings. I am a solitary-reaper.

But still I am happy. I can love. I can laugh, make others laugh. I can be content with what I have. Weird, eh? Told you!

I was at a cross road yesterday, looking ahead, and not wanting to walk, for I wanted to back home. But they pushed me, drove me out, told me ‘this is what you got, so this is what you’ll do.’ And so I did. I walked. I slithered. I ran. And today, I stand at a new cross – road. All over again, thinking it wasn’t that bad. There are worse things that can happen. Perhaps that was what was meant to be. Perhaps we’re all better this way.

At times it’s not that hard pushing away a long existing image from your head. For the bruise is too bad to conceal or make up. And at times, certain images just refuse to be washed away. They mock at your helplessness; dig at your tears, and satire at what a fool you had been. And yet you try. And so I did.

They say, home is where the heart is. I have made my heart my home.

Solid Happy Memories

I will not say that I don’t think of you anymore. Neither will I say, that I think of you the way I did yesterday. But yeah, this is for certain, that I do think of you. As a friend you were dear, and perhaps, today, the only reason you reside in some chapter of my life's book, is, you were once a friend.

I still revel in the evening breezes we felt, the laughters we shared on the beach, the brisk walks we walked, the tears we wiped from each others cheeks. But somehow, I am not at pain anymore as I reminisce you. Somehow, the journey apart magically transformed to my favour. And I am at peace with my inner self. I have learnt to believe, that what you have this very moment, is all you could have had. I don’t know if that’s the universal truth, for a truth for me none-the-less.

We love people, give them a piece of our hearts, even though they didn’t ask for it. And feel like we're on top of this world. And then, things happen, and the pieces we gave away fall into some puddle of mud, where we cant find them anymore. We search for it, in futile desperate bids to glue them with their owners but in vain. And then comes a moment of calm self realization. Of letting it be, the way it wants to be, lost in translation.

We all have at some point gone through treacherous paths in life in different ways…relationships, health, career....and if we only keep the last moments in our memory when things fell apart...we tend not to be forgiving....but in every of those situation there is a high point...where we are really at the top of the world (well most of us are) and if you remember those times....maybe just maybe....you will have a forgiving heart and a lifetime of good solid happy memories....


I think that’s the biggest truth I have learnt in recent times. Thank God.

Allow Me.....

Let me love the mysterious you,
Love you like there is no tomorrow.
Let me see myself engulfed in you,
Tucked away like there is no sorrow.

Embrace the sky in your hands tonight,
And I shall kiss the zephyr onto your eyes.
Shall I bring you down a milky little star,
Unblemished from our truths and lies?

Cry if you want, cry if you need,
Right here, right now, in my demure arms,
Let them tumble, the ocean slow,
Of the tears, the colds and the warms.

I’ll stand near my tall French window,
And stare at the sky like you are too.
Will you gaze at the dots I have sprinkled all over?
Millions of them everywhere for you?

Stand here all night, I will for I know
You are too watching the night earth simmer.
Retrace the thoughts of us, I will, like you,
As the twilight leisurely turns dimmer.

The Perfect Ending.....

So in reality nothing actually is perfect....

Unless we strive to make it one....

Breathe life into me...

Breathe life into me,
And take me far far away.
A li'l into the blue, a li'l into yellow.
Let the patches of memoirs be blurred,
Let the tears roll down and dry.
Let's forget,
You and I aren't who we're meant to be.
My glassy panes hold tiny drops this morning
of a rain that fell last night.
And I traced a figure
on their transparent cheeks.
Somehow they made all the lines and curves
speak of the same old story.
They also talked of reminiscent flowers.
Do you remember those flowers?
They were so yellow and green.
And they stayed in my vase for long long time.
Till the dried petals crumpled themselves
And turned more sepia from ochre.
Till someone told me to let go of them.
I still wish if they could have lived forever.
From last summer to this,
and from last to this monsoon,
memoirs have been whooshing past.
Every time a dry petal falls
I have them by my side, above and below.
I am taking every moment
Lungful of air inside of me.
They engulf my heart,
like it was engulfed once upon a time.
Yet it doesn't rise or fall.
The yellow and the rains are filling me up,
They’re all that I can feel and see.
The panes are still staring at me,
a distant nothingness looming large.
And the figure is melting down slow.
I am thinking maybe you will come and see,
open my windows and let the air fly,
And breathe life into me…

WHY WOMEN LOVE MEN..?

I have come across numerous posts from male bloggers about women. About how beautiful they are and how wonderfully God has made them. It feels very special, when you come across men like this, and you consider yourselves lucky to have such men around you.
Ironically I have never read any post dedicated to the wholesomeness of men. They are always labelled as chauvinist pigs, who can never do one thing properly. (Ok, I admit the second part is damn right! Sorry fellas!) But that’s so wrong. With this post I want to let you guys know, why women love men. And this isn’t going to be about the bank balance, or the car drives, I promise.

So guys, why women love men? Women love men because,

· They get up in the morning and snuggle to you for a kiss, forgetting that your mouth may stink.
· They wake you up earlier than usual, to snuggle up to talk and laugh before you go to get ready for office.
· Every time, invariably every time, they’ll forget where they kept their spectacles, and expect that you seem to know where it might be.
· They call you for “Honey ! my keys !”, rigtht after they’re outside the door.
· They tell you that the only reason they don’t have a girlfriend is coz of you. Being a sister you take up so much of their time !
· They help you with the dishes, by just hugging you from behind and standing like there like that as long you’re at the sink.
· They go out in 12 at night just coz you so badly wanted to have mango juice.
· They shop for like 5 shirts at a time, and then feel all guilty coz they hadn’t thought of getting something for you, and then end up shopping for you too.
· They send you away for your job, and then worry about your timings, and still tell you when you must get back.
· They never say “that dress doesn’t look good”, they always say “ do you think its as good as that one ?”, and no matter what, “that one” is always 'the one'.
· They talk about you with such pride, not just coz you’re their wife/sister/daughter/mother, but because you’re you.
· Everyday, incessantly without fail, they’ll come to wake you up, and try pulling your blanket out, never realizing that you have grown to be a woman and aren’t the 10 year old anymore.
· They listen to the every little rant about office and college without fail on STD.
· They tell you "you’re beautiful" even when you’re in a white tee and denim jeans.
· They clean the bathroom without you having to tell them, knowing how you dislike doing it.
· They insist on applying oil to your hair promising for a great massage, telling you that no one will care when you’re married off, when all they end up doing is tousle your hair to infinity.
· They’ll never get their friends into your bedroom without checking on you first, even when they’re in the 10th grade.
· They walk in to the house with the shoes on, and make a full circle back to the shoe stand realizing there had been rules when you’re around.
· They look so cute when they’re asleep….aww….
· Their voice over the phone, more so in the morning when they call you just after waking up.
· They give you back rubs in your period days and make you feel like royalty coz they think something very terrible is happening to you.
· You get all dressed up, wax your legs and hands, manicure your nails, paint them nice, just coz they’re coming to see you, and they never notice !
· The way they know how to fix the every damn thing in vicinity.

This, and so much more. Men are such adorable creatures. Really! And I consider myself so lucky to have such amazing men around me. So I dedicate these lines for all you wonderful men out there, who are true loving souls and make every woman feel proud to be one.

I'm blessed I know you, as a dad, a lover, a bro.
I love and adore you to the depths of my core.
I would not have been, hadn’t you been there,
You make me proud to be a woman and more.