~~~ Life and Death and the journey in between ~~~

When you meet someone better than yourself, turn your thoughts to becoming his equal. When you meet someone not as good as you are, look within and examine your own self - Confucius

"Are you from North Sir?"

"Yes"

"Arey Sir, mazaa aa gaya, ab khoob baat karte hue jayenge"

I am not a big fan of North and South division of the country and I immediately formed not so good opinions about the cab driver. I was on my way to the airport to catch an early flight to Guwahati. The cab driver, Anmol (name changed) was overly enthusiastic meeting a fellow North Indian, not knowing that monosyllabic is the conversation that comes naturally to me, and I was already prejudiced. The conversation started with the usual - work, destination, driving, Bangalore traffic, Bangalore weather etc. One thing that I  noticed when he had called earlier to confirm the address, he could fluently speak English in an impeccable accent. After the regular Bangalore lauding and loathing, I asked him from where had he picked up his accent. His answer surprised me. 

He had worked for five years in HP as a customer care representative before working as a driver for six to seven years now. He had come to Bangalore seventeen years ago find a job. He struggled initially for a few years and had almost decided to go back to his native in UP, before he got a job in some export-import company. He learnt English interacting with people during his work. Then he got a job in HP, got married and made Bangalore his home. My next question to him was very obvious. Somewhere I wish that I had not asked him why, but somewhere I know that I had to and I was meant to.  

Sometime when he was still with HP, his wife gave birth to a baby boy. Couple of years passed and he got the news that he would be father again. According to him, he had a perfect life then, so perfect that things could only go bad from there. His son got diagnosed with brain tumor. With his limited resources, the doctor's did not have any cure for his son's illness. During the birth of his second son, due to the doctor's negligence, the fetus' skull got cracked and he died before he breathed life. Due to medical complications, his wife's womb had to be removed. Within a few months, his elder son died.

I was speechless…

The loss of his sons and the knowledge that his wife could not have children again, sent him into depression. He left his job and almost quit living. The phase lasted for some time. He says that he does not know from where he got the strength, but one day he gathered his life and started to live again. Anmol and his wife have four Labradors now. He says he is very happy with what he has got. "Kismat hai sahab, aur kuch karm hoga pichle janam ka. Fir bhi khush hu, haath pair to kaam kar raha hai, bheekh to nahi maang raha hu. Aur bhi kitna bura ho sakta tha. Biwi hai, chaar bacche hai mere, paise kama leta hu, aur kya chahiye life se. Pehle sochta tha ye bhi hota, wo bhi hota, ab lagta hai, zindagi hai yahi bahut hai".

Not exactly a non-believer in destiny, I had always thought that destiny and hard work have a one to one mapping. The equations in life had been very simple for me - if put in x effort, I will get y results in some point of time. It is very discomforting when principles and ideas you have built your life around get skewed, shattered in fact. So many things that I always thought were right, did not seem so now. The feeling that I had a control over my life had evaporated. Coupled to this, the fact that I thought I had some difficult phases in life, which now seemed not so compared to his problems, made me even more uneasy. 

But he was in his cheerful best within no time. If his past had left me stunned, his present left me surprised. He talked about his wife and dogs, and how he tried to spend as much time as possible with them. He talked about his job, how diligently and honestly he tried to do it. He talked about his responsibilities towards people he knew and society in general. He had his views on politics, corruption, morality, humanity, and a host of other stuff. His having opinion about so many things did not surprise me, but the opinions he had, did. He was very passionate, yet logical about what he talked. 

"Keep your family and friends happy, always do good in life, don't cheat or lie". Not very articulate, he shared some gyan at the end of the journey.

I am not sure how I would have reacted in life if I had faced a similar situation. But I would not have been as happy as he was. He had picked up his life after losing all, and here he was, genuinely happy and trying to spread happiness. He had no indignation at life, no anger towards God. Life teaches you a lot, but perhaps death teaches you more...