~~ Shadows Unreal ~~

I am being a loser. I am not keeping my promises to myself. I am planning but not implementing. I am being an emotional disaster. I am bored. I want to create a mess. I am quiet when I should say it and I am saying it when I should shut up. I am doing a lot of useless thinking. I am completely jobless. I am busy doing nothing because what I am doing is not gonna take me anywhere if I do not put in that extra 200%. I am being difficult. I am acting complicated. In my pursuit of trying to make everyone happy, I might end up getting irritating. Too good is Too Boring! Damn!

You need not come knocking at my door again and again. You have changed my life and have given the dimension that it is today. You had all the plans to ruin and destroy my tomorrows. Basing your selfish dreams on my vulnerable self, you thought, you won, and you conquered. You were wrong. Can't you see? It all turned out to be exactly opposite. I got more meaning than I ever had in my life. For once I have a purpose. I have a dream. For once, things are real and yet *touchwood* beautiful.

Now its time for you to recede into your own self. Trust me, nothing you try is going to change the way things are today. I couldn’t be used. I was never meant to go down on my knees. I was always going to rise. It was my fault that I never respected myself, never thought that I deserve to reach out for my dreams, even if they meant going beyond the skies and all those stars.

I have seen you conspiring against me. I have seen you making me feel sorry for myself, in spite of not being all that wrong. You always wished for me to be there, dancing to your tunes, where all I was supposed to do and be, should be in accordance to your whims and fancies. But I pity you today. I feel extremely sorry for you. No wait! I don't! I am not sorry. You should be. You should realize now, because its high time that you did.

You got no rights, whatsoever, on me today. It's my truth. It's my fact. It's my right to be this way. So recede, behind your borders. Know your limits and be there. It's ok even if it takes a part of me to be left behind. But I don’t want any of that nonsense, any of that crappy goody goody shit.

This woman is way different from that girl. The girl who was naive, who could go to any extent to be valued, who didn’t respect herself and compromised her way through all the lines of life, all that for a wild goose chase. But it's not only her. There has been something superior, something divine, who was with her throughout, and didn't let her break into million pieces.

Today, she knows how to differentiate between people who matter and who don't. Today she loves herself, as well. Today she knows how to be true to herself.

Today,
When she looked around,
She found,
There were no shadows,
In the light,
No 'friends' forever,
No baseless foundations,
And fake notions,
Of yesterday's dreams.

Today when she looked around,
She found but one thing,
'Her-Self'.

P.S. Some things are better left unsaid. But some things are better expressed, if not, they start eating you from inside. Don't keep it bottled up inside you. Say it! Now! Things that do not deserve a place in your heart, throw it on paper. Totally. Then, mock at it, read it, laugh at it. You are special so take care!