Alchemy: "Because Of You"

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

"Because Of You"

I will not make the same mistakes that you did

I will not let myself

Cause my heart so much misery

I will not break the way you did,

You fell so hard

I've learned the hard way

To never let it get that far...

Because of you

I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you

I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you

I am afraid...

I lose my way

And it's not too long before you point it out

I cannot cry

Because I know that's weakness in your eyes

I'm forced to fake

A smile, a laugh everyday of my life

My heart can't possibly break

When it wasn't even whole to start with...

I watched you go away

You never heard me cry every night in my sleep

I was so young

You should have known better than to blame me

You never thought of anyone else

You just saw your pain

And now I cry in the middle of the night

For the same damn thing...

Because of you

I try my hardest just to forget everything

Because of you

I don't know how to let anyone else in

Because of you

I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
There is a vacuum in my heart only to be filled by you...

Because of you

I am not me

Because of you

Because of you...

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Here I am

I am not a tear, a suspended raindrop on a window, a lost and lonely wolf.
Nor a fragile belief, easily shattered and delicate
Nor a balloon filled with hot air, ready to burst.
I am an intelligent thought, observing, listening, and watching the world go by.

I am not always an abstract painting of confusion and chaos
Nor a bright and cheery spring day
Nor a smile or note of laughter that rings through a school hallway.
I am a puzzle that eventually fits together perfectly

I wish I could always be a smileand a reason for others to smile.
So... I have to be me.

DANCE IN THE RAIN

I will dance in the rain,
Clouds hiding the moon;
While the song of the ocean,
Sings me a tune.

I will sway in the raindrops,
Barefoot in the sand;
Let my heart make sweet music,
As I dance, soul in hand.

I will whisper soft words,
As I gently sway;
That catch on the wind,
As it sweeps them away.

As if I were lover,
In the quietness of night;
Forgetting the world,
Till dawn brings it's light.

I will sway in the raindrops,
In a gentle embrace;
While all time stands still,
In some distant place.

I will cherish the moment,
And the ocean's refrain;
In myself's arms,
I will dance in the rain.

THE BLOODY GREAT WORK

I broke my soul the other day.
I hate it when that happens.
My karmas bent,
my chakras cracked,
and my Kundalini flattened.

I stuck my fingers in the fire
and scorched them to the joint.
I rote my rite
and rung my bell,
but forgot one tiny point.
I've been calcinating since ever
Just can't dissolve, separate, or ferment!

If a force that's raised is out of phase
with the resident elemental,
the resulting blow
to the raiser's mind
can be seriously detrimental.

So the scales of balance tipped once more,
and reality went berserk.
But the journey's end
made me surer than before
that it really is a bloody Great Work.

Innocence

Innocence

“Know you what it is to be a child.....an epitom of innocence? It is to be something very different from the man of to-day. It is to have a spirit yet streaming from the waters of baptism; it is to believe in love, to believe in loveliness, to believe in belief; it is to be so little that the elves can reach to whisper in your ear; it is to turn pumpkins into coaches, and mice into horses, lowness into loftiness, and nothing into everything, for each child has its fairy godmother in its own soul.”

PASSION AND DESIRE

If passion were a flame of fire,
That burned into my soul;
I'd be consumed by this inferno,
By you who makes me whole.
Just like the moth who can't resist,
Who's drawn into the fire;
I dance around the flickering light,
Of passion and desire.

I look so deeply in your eyes,
At the hair I long to touch;
I hear my name come whispering,
'Cross lips I need so much.
My heart is filled with longing,
I stand too near the fire.
Again I'm drawn by the music,
Of passion and desire.

My hands reach out to touch you,
I live for one look from your eyes;
I whisper your name in the quiet times,
My love too strong to deny.
I dance to the tune of your music,
I sway in the glow of your fire.
Ever drawn into this inferno,
Of passion and desire.

TO MY ANGEL

I thought I saw an angel,
I didn't mean to stare;
I had them pictured differently,
Till I saw you standing there.

You may not have a halo,
But you have that certain grace;
I can tell that you're an angel,
From that look there on your face.

For only angels shine that way,
You have this heart convinced;
You may not have a set of wings
But I know you're Heaven sent.

For only God would send a gift,
So good and sweet and kind;
Don't try to tell me otherwise,
I'll never change my mind.

You may think that I am seeing things,
But I see through eyes of love;
My heart is convinced, I've been given a gift,
You're my angel from above.