As a declare myself free

“And I declare myself free
From ignorant love. You easy lovers
And forgivers of mankind stand back!
I will love you at a distance,
And not because you deserve it.
My love must be discriminate
Or fail to bear its weight.”

I do respect and duely surrender to the “holy vision” that I know we both are capable of. In the meantime, I’ll stay realistic, consider all of the facts, try and remain

joyful and love us discriminately for where we are and where we could be....

Here I Love You

Here I Love you.
In the dark pines the wind disentangles itself.
The moon glows like phosphorous on the vagrant waters.
Days, all one kind, go chasing each other.

The snow unfurls in dancing figures.
A silver gull slips down from the west.
Sometimes a sail.
High, high stars.
Or the black anchor of a ship.
Alone.
Sometimes I get up early and even my soul is wet.
Far away the sea sounds and resounds.
This is a port.

Here I love you.
Here I love you and the horizon hides you in vain.
I love you still among these cold things.
Sometimes my kisses go on those heavy vessels
Those cross the sea towards no arrival.
I see myself forgotten like those old anchors.

The piers sadden when the afternoon moors there.
My life grows tired, hungry to no purpose.
I love what I do not have. You are so far.
My loathing wrestles with the slow twilights.
But night comes and starts to sing to me.

The moon turns its clockwork dream.
The biggest stars look at me with your eyes.
And as I love you, the pines in the wind
Want to sing your name with their leaves of wire.
Here I love you.
Here I love you and the sky hides you in vain.

~~~ Worth ~~~

The fountains mingle with the river

And the rivers with the ocean,

The winds of heaven mix for ever

With a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the world is single,

All things by a law divine

In one another's being mingle...

Why not I with thine?

See the mountains kiss high heaven

And the waves clasp one another;

No bee would be forgiven

If it disdained the flower...

And the sunlight embraces the earth,

And the moonbeams kiss the sea...

What are all these kissing’s worth,

If thou kiss not me?

Implications of “I Love You”

When I say “I Love You” and still feel the pain, still feel jealous and insecure; and hate when “You” does not spend much time with “I”- then I am stressing on the word ”You” rather than ”I”. It means that “You” are the greatest thing that “I” love, and that “I” exist just because “You” have pitied on me by bestowing your love to me. It makes “I” feel helpless, puny, insecure, clasped with inferiority complex, expecting love with the same passion and intensity from “You” in return. It’s like, since I love you, you should love me too. It holds conditions and false expectations. It wants a binding. That's how love gets lost, when we start laying down rules for when love should or shouldn't appear. Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused. “I” could spend the rest of my life saying that “I” love such a person or thing, when the truth is that “I” am merely suffering because, instead of accepting love's strength, “I” am trying to diminish it so that it fits the world in which “I” imagine “I” live.

“I Love You” should have an emphasis on the word “I” implying that “I” love “You” no matter if you love me or not. “I” expressed my feelings for “You” because “I” was not able to contain the overwhelming feeling within “I”. “I” do not care if “You” have the slightest similar feeling for “I” or not, because “I” have the power only over what “I” think and feel, “I” can’t force “You” to feel the same, neither can “I” coax “You” to manipulate and change your views and thoughts.

It’s true that “You” fills “I” most of the time, it fills the empty space inside “I”, thus compels “I” to stay away from the divine power of love. “I” might have had disturbed sleep on some nights, on others “I” suffer from insomnia. That's just how it is, because “I” was the one who chose to walk this path. Hence “I” should not have any complaints regarding the choice.

In the words of a Persian sage: Love is a disease, no one wants to get rid of it. Those who catch it never try to get better, and those who suffer it do not wish to be cured.

Where there is “Love”, there is commitment, insecurity, jealousy and pain- terrible pain. There is no escape from this pain. It is inevitable, like a package deal. So if “I” have to get rid of the pain, “I” need to get rid of love. And here comes the personal freedom of choice. It is often said that absolute freedom doesn’t exist; what does exist is the freedom to choose anything “I” like and then commit myself fully to that decision. Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose, and commit myself to, what is best for me. We all have the ability…we all just don't have the courage to follow our dreams and to follow the signs.

The more “I” learn to let go of the love, leave it free and wild, the more this universal power empowers me surrounding me like a supreme shield, making me broaden my mind from the earth to the space, making enough space to contain the love and the pain. It leads me gently forward. It unknowingly brings “I” close to God. It broadens the horizon for “I” and its competence to spread the ever growing love to both privileged and unprivileged.

All men and all women are connected by an energy which many people call love, but which is, in fact, the raw material from which the universe was built. This energy can't be manipulated, it leads us gently forwards, and it contains all we have to learn in this life. It we try to make it go in the direction we want, we end up desperate, frustrated, disillusioned, because that energy is free and wild.

“History will never change because of politics or conquests or theories or wars; that's mere repetition, it's been going on since the beginning of time. History will only change when we are able to use the energy of love, just as we use energy of the wind, the seas, and the atom.”

A fatally wounded soldier never asks the medical team: “Please save me!” His last words are usually: “Tell my wife and son that I love them.” At the last moment, they speak of love.
I don’t know what to do. I only know that it’s taken me years to understand that life was pushing me in a direction I didn’t want to go in. And through lot of introspection I have come across a few nuggets of insight. Now I know that the warriors of the light are not perfect. Their beauty lies in accepting this fact and still desiring to grow and to learn.

AMONG THE MULTITUDE

Among the men and women, the multitude,
I perceive one picking me out by secret and divine signs,
Acknowledging none else,

Not parent, wife, husband, brother, child, any nearer than I am,
Some are baffled, but that one is not--that one knows me.
Ah lover and my divine and perfect equal,

I meant that you should discover me so by faint indirections,

And I, when I meet you, mean to discover you by the like in you.

Did you just.....??

"Did you say you love me?"

You who verses in ciphers

In the petite pieces you sketch

And the solitary breaths you seize

Painted with arid sighs amidst.

A while ago when you curved them

As we said, "See you soon...",

And began walking our ways;

I caught that mist in your eyes.

Oh Yes! I did.

The fervent beam and that tiny dent,

Yes, I could see.

And then perhaps you whispered,

More like a placid zephyr.

I discern not but I believe I heard so,

Or did I, for I craved to, now too.

I yearn if only I could pose it to you,

Tell me, I pray...

"Did u just utter? You love me?"

Soulmate

Every withheld tear of your secret sorrow,

Every aspiration shattered, scattered

Each scarlet drop draining your bruised heart

Each word, nay letter, of your stifled voice

Fires my dormant spirit

Oh soul infinite

Come share with me my courage, my strength,

My inspiration, my very breath

That in blessed companionship

We may traverse as one

This craggy terrain called life

Until eventide sneaks up on us.