Life of an Urchin

Was it something I did?
Was it something I said?
Did you not want a kid?
Is that why you fled?

It is to late now,
It will never be the same.
The time had changed me.
The past is to blame.

Without knowing who you are,
I feel like I don't know myself.
I always wonder about who you could be.
Do you do the same? Or is it just me?

Do you ever think,
of how things could be?
I never knew you,
But I hope you know me.

No one is showing me the way.
How am I supposed to know?
There is a saying,
Every action is learned.

Through fire, rain, wind and snow
On me travels I sadly go,
Blistering deserts and frozen lands
No caressing hands.

I don't know what to do
I don't know which way to go.
I thought parents were the guiding hand,
Put there to help us grow.

Life is so free, yet so restricted,
From all happiness I am evicted.
The earth is so full, yet so much more empty,
I sit in silence as all eyes watch me.

The world plays together, yet I am so alone,
We all have shelter but I have no home.
Everyone is cared for, yet I am so neglected,
They make fun of me, no sadness is detected.

Everyone matters, yet I am called names,
They will call me a tramp, I know, they are all the same,
They hit me, hurt me, yet I feel no pain,
I know tomorrow they will do it again.

Do I try to make it alone
With nothing to fall back on?
Do I keep searching for answers,
For some clue of what I seek?

But it seems,
that no matter how hard I try,
I never find anything.
I just end up flipping at the beginning.

I have tried everything I know.
Where do I go from here?
You are supposed to have the answers,
And build me up with cheer.

I don't know what you expect,
Or what you dream,
All I know is that you’re my father,
But none knows if the sun will ever shine for me out there.