The apologetic feminist…

Who cares that I'm a writer but not one professionally any more? Or that I love my world of words. I spin them, string them, weave them together and like to believe I can do it fairly well. But who wants to know that? Do you?

The apologetic Feminist…Is what I’m not going to be.

Yes, I have a problem with the way the patriarchal system works. If that makes me a feminist, I’m proud to be one.

I also have a problem with the way patriarchs talk. If that makes me a rebel in the family, I’m not ashamed to be one.

I spend nine hours at work everyday (thirteen to fourteen hours daily including travel time). I have an opinion that’s as sane if not more as what others have to offer, I think, I have a brain that can work beyond the aesthetics of a pretty home or the nuances of kitchen politics. And despite that I’m not a man’s equal (?) I do not do any of that to equal anyone, but I expect equal treatment because I’m an equal person. And it hurts to be treated “only as a woman”.

I do not understand why I must not be part of discussions on home finances, why my name must not be put on the nameplate outside the house along with the names of all the men. I do not understand why you must not look me in the eye when you speak to me. I do not understand the way your brain sees me…

We have “advanced”. But would like to clarify when we speak of advancement....we begin with an assumption that all was 'backward' before. During the Vedic times things were different...We in fact have regressed. Don’t refer to the countless attempting to shame us about our culture books which say the opposite. They are not true.Vashishta the Royal guru/advisor said that Sita was capable of ruling Ayodhya in Ram's absence. He wanted her to rule when Ram left for vanvaas. Going with him was her choice.

Why must I take responsibilities for the insecurity of men? Why must the onus of shouldering burdens be on me while I get no credit for doing so? And why the hell should I consider myself inferior to any man even for a millisecond because I was not born one.

First, I fight against notions of what is expected of me and what is not. And when I prove those notions wrong, I fight the misery of feeling out of place. Not fair!

But I could do without men who can't look at me as a person and insist on seeing me through gender stereotyped glasses (whatever that may be).

Is it because I’m a woman?A woman who stands by her husband, but should never be seen standing as tall as him.
A woman who acts tough but must learn to treat herself as a pretty mantel piece displayed when it suits the place.
A woman who can make decisions but must never be credited for them.

Why must I be made to feel ashamed for living my life the way you do? If my independence unsettles your patriarchal seat, should I be apologetic for it?