~~~ "Reflection of a Mother" ~~~

I gave you life, but cannot live without you.

I can teach you things, but I cannot make you learn.

I can give you directions, but I cannot be there to lead you.

I can allow you freedom, but I cannot account for it.

I can take you to church, but I cannot make you believe.

I can teach you right from wrong, but I cannot always decide for you.

I can buy you beautiful clothes, but I cannot make you beautiful inside.

I can offer you advice, but I cannot accept it for you.

I can give you love, but I cannot force it upon you.

I can teach you to share, but I cannot make you unselfish.

I can teach you respect, but I cannot force you to show honor.

I can advise you about friends, but cannot choose them for you.

I can advise you about sex, but I cannot keep you pure.

I can tell you the facts of life, but I can't build your reputation.

I can tell you about drink, but I can't say "no" for you.

I can warn you about drugs, but I can't prevent you from using them.

I can tell you about lofty goals, but I can't achieve them for you.

I can teach you about kindness, but I can't force you to be gracious.

I can warn you about sins, but I cannot make you moral.

I can love you as a child, but I cannot place you in God's family.

I can pray for you, but I cannot make you walk with God.

I can tell you about God, but I cannot make Jesus your Lord.

I can tell you how to live, but I cannot give you eternal life.

But one thing I can assure you...

I can love you unconditionally all of my life...and I will till my last breath...!

~~~ I still miss those days … ~~~

I still miss those days .

That, hours of chatting .

Fighting over little things.

Late night talks .

Sharing secrets .

Weird dreams .

“Being possessive” attitudes .

Waiting for your texts .

Watching your pics and texts over and over.

Smiling for no reason .

Trusting you blindly .

Your hugs and kisses .

Your innocent wishes .

And, now just having,

Blank inbox .

No more “I love you”.

Hours of loneliness.

Unshared emotions .

Late night cries .

Heartbreaking secrets .

Shattered dreams .

Deleted memories .

Fake smiles .

Broken trust .

Your nailed hugs .

Your devious heartaches .

I don't know why I’m still waiting for you..

You Broke Me.

I Have Every Right To Hate You!

But I Just Can't.

Coz The Sad Truth Is...

No Matter What You Do,

Say or Put Me Through,

You force me to think time and again

Do I Still Love You...??

I never force you to love me,

I never flirt with someone

To make you angry,

I never warn you to do not

Speak with others, I never say don't do d thing you want,

You are like a bird for

Me, free to fly away

Anywhere you want to go,

Only thing you must to know…

Wherever you go or

Whatever you do,

When you decide to come

Back and feel you need me,

And feel that I’m always here for you,

To give you oceans of Love.

Just remember..!!

I'm not your property…

May you rot in hell….!!!

~~~ PAINTING OF LIFE ~~~

With a brush and ink

I start to paint on the canvas

That is my life

A picture that I want

Be wonderful and that says something about me

The colors give the painting life and make it more beautiful

I try to paint all day on my canvas

Always something good, beautiful, joyful

And reflect a little what good is life

I begin by painting in shades of blue

What is the color of sky and sea

And give wings to my imagination

I put a little yellow

To paint a beautiful sunset that I will

Then heat and wake up full of energy

Paint the stars and a beautiful moon

For the night to fly on the wings of dreams

I put some shades of green

To paint a beautiful and majestic forest

Full of trees, animals and magic

I put each color on my canvas

Will come to life and turning

A beautiful picture that I paint every day

I always have something to add

As you can paint on your screen of life

Always something beautiful and creative,

That shows that you are

Be a wonderful one being created by God...

That last bit of your day

Is peace and love and blessings...

Sweet kisses to your beautiful heart....

Always a friend...

Is a flower, a leaf or to a pebble

I know that will make my situation even more beautiful

And when someone looks at my painting

I hope it reflects…

What I am

Who I am and

Where I go...??

~~~ Loss of words ~~~

The place where words end before even when I speak,

It is where I roam about in a habit to hear your voice again.

The place where sun sets at the evening twilight

It is where I think to run about living my life’s so called mistakes...

It seems like time left me out within myself with all of its dark night..

Everyday my fear of dreams crashing down on me seems floating in the stormy night.

Once say that no one’s around with me , for me...

The way the passing by scenes claw me down every other day

I am trying to break myself out of bounds hiding the same way

The place where I shout out to the crowd of seemingly dead people

It is where I keep moving ahead taking snaps of my madness...

It seems like time left me out within myself with all of its dark night..

Everyday my fear of dreams crashing down on me seems floating in the stormy night.

It seems that no one’s around with me , for me..

~~~ Enough ~~~

Stop wasting time lingering over all that you could have, should have and would have done. 
Stop spending your days thinking of how much better you could do; stop longing for something that has been and always will be out of your reach. 
Just live the days as they come. 
Wake up every morning and smile at the wonderful day that awaits you. 
And when opportunity comes knocking on your door, don’t you dare ignore it. 
Don’t run away. 
Pull yourself together, open the door. Let the LIFE in.

~~~ Metamorphosis ~~~

I remember,

I remember well, the day-

You had drunk, fought with me for nothing 

and bashed me blue and black...

You watched you pack and fade away,

behind the lingering dusk of the mountains.

I wanted you to show me,

the stretching end of the valley,

you said the clouds and the rains meet.

But, you didn’t hear me, 

calling, calling your name,

until you left that hazy frame–

and the night came.

I watched you running, 

bare-feet, under the light rain,

until, on the sticky dusts of the Earth,

only, my silver ankle chain remained.

You stared into the sky before stars hide,

You didn’t see me falling so behind.

I wanted you to stop me.

But never, never, could I ask…

Coz, I knew that you would never...

You know? 

You once told me, "You are so beautiful..."

But now, when I looked back...

It was not the same you...

The gods themselves are helpless against them while they stand so.....!!

~~~ In Honor Of Eternity ~~~

Existence is innocent. It lets me walk on its streets, talk to its flowers, color its sky with my imagination and my eyes... 
It doesn't accuse me of anything, willing to cradle me forever and ever, through countless births and deaths...unwavering in its faith in my eternity,innocence, ability and intentions...
It's willing to put up with anything for my sake,and yet monitors me with strict vigilance, lest I harm myself out of stupidity and foolishness .
The heart of existence seems so pure...She's so kind to me.
I thank the earth for putting up with me.I thank the sky for sheltering me, and I bow down in honor of eternity.

~~~ Love is commotion ~~~

Just let me sing to you in the commotion of love

The angels are laughing away,as the stars die above

My fingers are red and my heart is all blue

I would have disturbed the world,if not for you

The bells are tingling out of fear of a terrified tiger

A flower bursts into the blossoms of a sea

A woman turns out to be as nice as can be

The atmosphere burns the heavenly heart

It's a land where developed hearts dance,

And undeveloped hearts gallop into a trance

And as my eyes open,the hearts of blunders stray away,

From a chapter that is as long and lonely as my little life

The magnitude of mirth runs away before anybody has anytime to catch anybody at all

Yet,love isn't impossible

As day fades into day,and night barks into night,

I love a a life that's living me,and oh i feel so right

Beginning on a laughing day and ending on the fright of night

I feel I'm flying far away,and love is out of sight

I am raising two hands

As only my left foot stands

One hand's for the sun,and another has a gun

My mouth and all is devouring fun

As the victim tries to run

Enough enough enough

I'll love you if you turn away,

You'll hate yourself if you don't

The weather and the wires worked,

And my love was left unstoned

As the wind woke up and won the world

I then discovered that life has a wife named laughter,

And it is pregnant with love

As the victim ran and threw himself into the river,

Dead souls seemed to ask the river to laugh with them forever...

~~~ Flesh ~~~

I want to see all paradoxes writhing naked

I want to see good men inverted and emptied,

Their proud heads falling to the ground 

Along with their crowns that reached their umpteenth;

And their worthless virtues breaking without a sound

And I want to see reality seething,

Their livers screaming 

Them Housed in stones,

Sluts in huts

And I want to see their blood whimpering in oval arteries,

As it courses through acute malignancy of their being

I want to see again how they exchange their flesh for gold

I want to see zombies lying flat

I want to see honey filled in  the head;

Existence all white till the darkness is dead -

And Swap the bees humming around in oblivion

Time after time,

I've beheld this world as it moves to and fro 

in awkward malignancy,

lying through its brow

lying in the gutter now

I stand in the centre...

A poor person, diffident like drugs,

Searing within my own lungs

As I speak against movement,

against constant chaos,

And a world on giant wheels-

I grope in darkness as my goodness reels 

All of us living through a swarm of holistic lies -

The lust for truth in me all smashed, crunched and disabled

Thrown to the dogs, lost to the pigs in the pig sties

The visage of friction grows in affliction,

 And on the stems there grow naked flowers

While maddening fools dangle down my brow-

The vivid witch is enchanting as the world is slanting,

And virtue is just a victim of the dead

Just a victim of all 

that is thought, 

sought and said...

~~~ An Imaginary God ~~~

Music is a drug

But in its mirror I had seen your face;

Your memory is painful,

For now I am full of smoke,

and aghast with dirt and disgrace...

I can't see You,

And I'm lost

You have been buried in graves

that have been strewn all over the universe -

Oh How it pains!

Your darkness seems engraved on the mountains,

the valleys and all the skies;

And I can't see you -

Your dust covers all mystery,

Your pain runs in the rivers

Your voice is unheard,

You are lost in the mist...

There seems not a sign of you,

And I don't know you

I don't know you,

I don't know you...

Why...???

~~~ An Elaborate Nothing ~~~

Perhaps there's nothing to reach

Life tells its stories and fights to teach

Moments come and go

Reaching high and low

Everyday new and retarded

Finished the way it started

Helpless longings grow

Everybody imagines a sun inside him

Wants to reach that glow

A rabid individualist with gun on his shoulder

A kid knowing nothing and still growing older

The whole sun sets and the world grows colder

Life an over-flowing cup

The black wind blows and your time is up

Heads decorated with golden crowns

Little people with ups and downs

Small people moan and groan

Praise the pig and throw the stone

Reject all meaning and everything

A little human that lacks a wing

All dreams are dreams

All forms are forms

Once freedom breaks - You're free of norms

An upward blue and fading light

Origin of a deeper night

And two is two

But one is one

There is no heart

There is no sun

A thinking demon comes to fight

Tells what's wrong, denies what's right

Plagues multitudes that lie below that light

Kiss cruel conclusions without that sight

And rise in the morning and fade at night

Big yellow masses with flowers in their hand

Dance in magic before they understand

And life is tragic, life is bland

Murdered in youth by an addicted sleuth

The pain comes over and over

Living seagulls and melancholics

And an explosion bottled inside

 When kings find magic

When a peanut finds a bird

When the filth is fixing beggars;

And a losing sound is heard -

Happiness is a vegetable

Makes some mad, makes some stable

And everything is just AN ELABORATE NOTHING..!!!

~~~ Soul Seeker ~~~

I blacken...

I heave myself onto the world

I need help and there are no hands and feet

No dark universe to revolve to

Not even a black hole in the sky

Or a sterile circle...

I can hold on to nothing,

Not even retardation

There are no roads you can walk

On in unkempt sedation...

There are only chains, walls and

Half ghostly mirrors...

Then there's my soul that is white

And dressed in grieving black -

Oh! And how its death softens...!!!

~~~ High At Night ~~~

After the pain,

Vow begins clarity

Like blue light after the disparity

Insane before the rain,

Quiet as it drizzles

Over green, green meadows...

The water falls down,

But it goes high up in the sky

As it evaporates -

Higher than the sun and the moon;

As the wind blows,

And the night sedates...

~~~ Blind View From A Hospital Bed ~~~

Broken pieces of chance and destiny

Coursing through other's blood and greed-

Fighting thoughts grow like weed

Trouble breathing, 

Something wrong in the air

Big minds clash with small;

Bring despair

Trust the wrong,

You break the song

White,bleak stars falling before my eyes,

Falling down along with their skies;

Mothers giving birth to feed their egos,

The whole world telling loving lies

Happiness is a bird

Happiness is a lie

It wants its freedom,

It wants to fly

The whole world breaking into two,

And a head bereft

A head on my bed

Millions and millions mean nothing

All of them want their own selves-

But they end up fighting ,

Using others to build themselves

Destroying structures like serpents and vultures

I see the sun set

I see myself being pulled down by mosquitoes,

Tasting the blood they get

Big minds and small,

Trying to have it all -

Refusing to see the truth

Just to see the truth one has to fight

Fight, burn and quarrel through the night

For though beneath the flesh there's only blood

Beyond the head, there's an anonymous light

People and their sick belongings;

Minds that struggle in shallow waters

Mothers who lack brain and train their daughters

Beneath the bed sheets my heart bleeds

I struggle like hell

I struggle like fire under water,

Like sheep during slaughter

I struggle like life during death -

All faces are poisonous faces,

All love leaves traces so red -

With eyes half open

All consciousness trickles down my brow,

And  round black revolvers come to my head...

~~~ Adam, Eve And The Listless ~~~

The universe was born.

And there grew

Amidst golden wasps 

and growing grass,

Two stolen forms...

Under the sky

At the heart of beauty,

Watching stray clouds go by..

They began with everlastingness,

Sculpted by long, lost and lingering hands

Made to foray into the softness of eternity,

Where the warmth is always still

Where the sun and the moon rise into dreamlessness ,

And each soul can have its fill

As the sky grows wide  inside

The heart of a luminous God  -

But this was all before the dawn of wisdom,

Before the apple grew,

Before the spirit of softness was thwarted,

And the pure image of "innocence" became odd...

~~~ Life ~~~

Everything is simply ash ,

When I need a higher purpose -

Bigger than drugging pathos...

Alive in green lettuce leaves

Storming in the stars

Written on the rainbows,

Speeding in the cars-

Painted in agony,

Two pious words:

"I  breathe"

And  it will be so till the terrible

Trolley of death takes me away...

~~~ Piquant Agony ~~~

I'm not a part of any one's flesh,

any one's heart -

I'm merely part of stolen voices,

Red and retarded;

With warm smoke puffing me up

As hostility stirs my molten,

blind and deafening core,

that burns in  circles -

Twilight disappears into deepening,

saddening wounds...

All warmth vanishes,

And I'm weary of cold -

I feel dumb as a disconnected limb

that flows purple,

Full of sorrow and pain...

And I'm not a part of anything -

I don't belong,

To anyone...

To myself....

Simply...just...

I bleed...

~~~ They Are Brewing ~~~

They haven't yet come to the trauma

where there are no gates,

No lights,

Complete shutdown  -

Further away there's a sun,

Caught in the sky 

that wears a blue gown;

Wrinkling audacity -

red circles, pink and purple,

Oars -

Men drinking wine,

Corpses lying down on floors -

An unknown road that leads to martyrdom,

And all windows in place of doors..

Heads that peep out of it and gape,

Staring at some other world,

Without sound, heart and shape-

Sprinkling in the ether, the color of odor..

Sights of graves, whorls and love,

That make one shudder  -

And in their trance like fervor,

Their mouths opening in an oval orgasm -

While the whimpering world opens

its arms to blossom...

~~~ एक नास्तिक प्रश्न ~~~

यह किसके गुण  गाये जा रहे हो ?

यह क्या अध्बुध वर्णन है ?

यह मार्ग किस ओर जाता है ?

जिसका न शारीर है न सर है न पैर;

न वो कोई मूर्ति है जो दिखे ,

न उसे प्रेम है और न  है कोई वैर -

छु सकते है क्या हम उसको ?

उसके पास तो बदन ही नहीं -

प्रीत के इस विशाल भंवर में

छिड़े न कोई नाद ,

तो क्रंदन ही सही 

उजड़ी उजड़ी सी दुनिया है

यह क्या है जो गूँज रहा है ?

उजड़ रहा है कोई,

और कही मिल रहा

है एक प्रेम और कोई तारा;

यूँ अंतर ह्रदय के भीतर,

उमड़ रहा है  यूँ जगत  सारा

खिल रहे है फूल ,

उग रहा है एक

उज्जवल सूरज दोबारा -

कहाँ  है  निर्गुण, निर्लेप भगवन तुम्हारा ?