~~ Craft me anew ~~

Nimble footfalls, yawning eyes.

Curious lips, tender fingerprints.

Feral twilights, luscious murmurs.

In them in abandon you sift abysmally deep.

And sketch in doodles incoherent, unusual.

Scarlet and branded,

You leave me, and I can see.

This is new, I am new.

I am not that girl

I used to happen to be.

Pacify me.

Push me again.

And show me how,

You rapt my soul

And make me new

Every day for you…

Do we have to?

Draw symmetries with these aliens?

That are keeping us tables afar.

Buoying infinite stories,

Blissfully ignorant-

Of how derisory I am

To humor right now.

So tell me cruel one.

While you paint your wicked smile

Tell me, why should I not hate them?

Seize me home,

And make love to me.

Flitch me away and kiss me.

Under this moonlit night,

Have me and let me have you.

Come away.

Let’s run away.

So I can walk over to the middle,

And glance below to see reminiscence twirling by.

In ephemeral kisses,

Delicate embraces,

And passionate sunbursts that smiled at our faces

When under its veil into the anonymous,

A tomorrow that doesn't scare,

And nakedness that doesn't stare.

Simply takes me in,

and leads me to...

Wherever you are...
Craft me anew....

~~ Epitaph ~~

Kiss me a last kiss.
And help me abandon,
The unseen dreams and unknown hopes,
Unwritten lyrics and unsung songs.

In abandon let me slip,
Above and beyond
Up and away,
From the unchained melodies
I've wombed so long.

Lift me then and bury me there.
And brand in a soliloquized whisper...

"...Here lies she, the untamed heart,
Laughed foolhardy, cried in vain.
Lived in winter, loved in rain..."

RED

I am red.
While making diagrams.
Of sublime kisses.
And wiping shards.

That fell from my eyes.
And clung noiselessly.
To the rim of my dress.

While pondering if to ask you
To hurt me again,
And remind me how
Abysmal in your love,
I have bled.
I am red.

~~ The Sunny Side up....~~

Betrayals, let downs, breakups, unrequited emotions, misunderstandings, avoided confrontations. Just so many expressions to signify one thing, and one thing only- PAIN. And all those people who came up with all these terms, sure as hell had a lot of time on their hands.

For the longest time I lived with the feeling of having a messy life where I did not have a single solitary thing in a place where it should be. Nothing working out the way I pictured it to, decadent people letting me down, people stepping back to look after their interests first instead of standing by me, for me.... A sordid chaos was what it was and there was I in the epicenter of it all putting up a face that I am graceful about it all, that it was okay and that I understood. And that charade went on till I knew I would have to give up my sanity if I went on with the circus any longer. And so I chose to give up.

Thinking and hoping and waiting and trying to give the impression that you are going to be there on their side of the bank whenever they felt like walking up to you. And all that was drilling a hole in my heart, hat kept getting bigger and bigger. I chose to push myself in a loop where my life, inspite of all its bright spots just kept looking empty. I still chose to keep that wrong facade up, hoping sunshine to come by my street someday and purge a life. But still nothing happened. Nothing ever happened.

And one fine summery morning, my conscience came calling by and told me to quit. Turn away from it all and focus on other things that I had never given much credit that they could infuse meaning into an abysmal hypocritical existence. She told me to change plans, create goals, generate ambitions, dream big and utterly and totally reject any prospects that spoke to me of an ordinary life. And I think that was one of the finest mornings I have woken up to, in a long long time.

Happier and saner, looking ahead, with a mind free of haunting and a heart free of skeletons I have put to rest, here I am. I have changed my street, repainted my walls and put them up, on their right side for once, up for the sun to come shinning by and he comes everyday...!!

Every day he trickles in into my dainty pretty kitchen through my east facing window, where every Sunday we say hello as i set the pot for some bigger flavored green tea in my olive colored vintage mug I am fanatically possessive about. Every day, he floats by my living room that gripes in dire need of some furniture, as I sit down on the floor, back from work, and read the day's newspaper. Every day he breezes by my boho bedroom that dons fuchsia and pink lilies on the wall standing behind a candy pink hand painted wicker book shelf; and while I am doing my hair we smile through my mirror; acknowledging what a beautiful day it is.

And I want to keep seeing him, right this way, everyday for the rest of my life, no matter what the weather is outside and what street I am in. I am going to pull a plug on that part of my gray matter that works only to bring me home a bagful of pain and enjoy the every phase my life trespasses into, whenever it does. Peeling layers of skin from an injury never helps, I think rather settling down with a scar for life is a better option. Yes...I am going to take that.....

Sometimes it’s arduous to try and find a speck of shimmery ray even when there is light looming all over. And at other times the faintest beams seem to dance and fill your heart with hope. So today, I want to wish for that iridescent hope to not desert our fragile hearts, and seek its way through to us no matter how abysmal our alleys become, find us, hold us, fill us and light up more than just our rooms...

~~ Falling Leaves ~~

I was thinking of old friends today
And how many of them have slipped away.
Moved, got married, or stopped calling so much,
Found new friends, got busy, and just lost touch.
It reminded me of falling leaves.
Every autumn the leaves fall from the trees.
Some stay longer than others, but eventually -
Each leaf must fall, I'm told,
Leaving the tree alone to face the cold.
Why is it that in the time of utmost need,
The leaves would seek to leave the tree?
And when we need our friends around us
We look and they cannot be found?
Of course these friendships come and go
And in the spring new leaves will grow.
But I prefer autumn friends of old
With crackling laughter and colors bold.
And then I thought of you.
That one stubborn leaf that won't let go.
That clings despite the winds that blow.
Fighting ice, and snow, and winter's stings
Hanging on right through till spring.
So I guess that's what you are to me -
The very last leaf to leave the tree.
I know it seems silly, but it's true.
When I see that last leaf... I think of you.
....Don't drift away.... will you…???